š„ŗ Messy.
This week is not about any one thing. It's about the messiness of having to deal with all the things.
š° The Topic
Every week we try to dig into a topic that impacts many parents by sharing the best practices and ideas from other parents that have been there.
But right now it feels like weāre all trying to handle multiple impossibly heavy and complicated realities that none of us have been through, let alone have guidance on.
Itās exhausting, itās disorienting ā¦ itās messy.
Personally, this past week has been a rollercoaster of emotions. Here in British Columbia, under the leadership of Dr. Henry, weāre in state of reopening. Our girls went back to school on Thursday (for only 2 days/week and only 4 kids to a class, but still), I got my hair a long, long overdue hair cut, and my husband and I ventured out to eat at my favorite restaurant for a postponed birthday dinner.
I should be optimistic, and I am. But all of this was under the shadow of the fight for justice that people in every state and many countries are risking their health for. I felt the urgency and importance to sit our girls down this week to talk to them multiple times about what is happening and why - though the talks have felt forced and awkward and yes, uncomfortable. As much as I want them to really understand, Iāve had to be patient with the fact that a 5 and 8 year old would rather watch Magic School Bus and not talk at length about race and skin color and people treating each other unfairly. So weāve taken small steps at a time, sometimes with a book, other times with a dinnertime discussion, still others watching a video.
Itās opened up old personal wounds and buried down pain - the trauma of always being āotherā no matter how hard you try to be same. I donāt know why or how weāre expected to deal with so much at the same time. Itās enough to break anyone, but especially parents, many times over. Iām ashamed to say this emotion and stress has come out in ways Iām not entirely proud of - from being short with the kids, to fleeing the room, to bursting into tears.
And yet. There are beautiful examples of how this moment, this time, is bringing about change that feels new. Maybe because the horrifying injustice of this string of deaths was impossible to ignore. Maybe itās because weāre all at home, connected on a global level as we have never been before. Maybe the āwhyā matters less than the āwhere do we go from hereā.
2020 has been an extraordinarily hard year so far. But maybe itās also our chance to break down what has been, to usher in what can be. As parents, fighting to leave our kids a better place than we were handed, maybe this is the year weāve been waiting for, messiness and all.
š§° The Tools
Keep up the regular conversation around race - moving it from being ānot racistā or ācolorblindā to learning how to be āanti-racistā - moving our roles from being passive to active in the everyday.
How White Parents Can Talk To Their Kids About Race - a powerful 10 minutes by NPR on how White parents can teach kids about how to be an anti-racist.
Sesame Street and CNN put on a Townhall for kids this weekend. Probably best suited for kids 6+ but lots of great conversation jumping off points, led by real questions by kids and families from around the country.
For tools related to coronavirus and the ongoing disruptions in our lives, weāre sharing:
Summer camps not happening or tired of coming up with the weekās activities? Check out Camp Kinda - each week theyāre sharing 3-4 hours worth of learning and activities.
Louie, Elmoās dad, has a message for all parents everywhere, worried about holding it all together perfectly.
š§ Worth Reading/ Watching
What It Means to be Anti-Racist - probably the most powerful concept Iāve learned in the past couple of weeks - āto actively fight against racism rather than passively claim to be non-racistā.
The Top Doctor Who Aced the Coronavirus Test - a profile on the Health Officer for where I live, in Vancouver, BC. She has led with the kind of leadership we could use everywhere - firm, transparent and empathetic. For months, itās been a two-way street of trust - between government and citizens, behind her mantra of: āThis is our time to be kind, to be calm and to be safe.ā, a lesson we can all use right now.
Back to School? Tracking COVID Cases as Schools Reopen - the topic thatās on most of our minds - will schools open and how - and will it be safe for me to send my kids? Sharing some early data tracking this around the world.
Michelle Obamaās Commencement Speech - Graduates, āDonāt ever, ever let anyone tell you that youāre too angryā
Coronavirus job loss sends Florida family into homelessness - Incredibly hard to read but vital so that we donāt forgot those that will be irrevocably impacted by these crises.