🎡 How To (Re)introduce Routines - COVID edition
Routines (not schedules!) are your key to untangling tricky times in the day. Here's how to build yours and 3 ready to go options to try this week.
👋 Intro:
Every fall marks the painful (but welcome) transition from lazy summer days to structured routines. This year we have the added complexity of dealing with safety protocols, distance learning and hybrid schedules. But instead of being one more thing to stress about, routines can help provide structure, organization and a rhythm to get through the day.
Routines are often confused with detailed schedules. Instead of being a rigid, to-the-minute directive, routines are “regular practices, general sequences, and ways of doing things”. They help everyone know who needs to do what, when and in what order. Routines can also have lots of choice and flexibility built in, to make them work for everyone.
Here we’ll cover the highlights of what you’re looking for in a solid routine and 3 options to try out over the next couple of weeks.
🍎 Routines 101:
Routines, not schedules: The goal is to have everyone generally knowing what to expect, not to schedule every minute. Think short sequences of activities and even family traditions over super detailed schedules. The goal is to eventually feel a rhythm and an ease, where right now it might feel like it’s a lot of effort and friction.
Focus on the trickiest parts of the day. These are usually in the morning, after school/ dinner, and bedtime. Having a routine helps move things along faster because everyone knows what’s coming and it frees you up to get your things done as well.
Ownership and choice: Build flexibility and options into your routines so that your kids still feel in control of their day. For example, you can say, “After school we always go outside” - but your child can decide between a few options of where to go. Or after dinner is clean-up time, but kids can choose clean up music or which room they want to clean up. This is more realistic, less rigid, and gives kids a sense of agency.
Build in ample transitions. Kids’ attention and focus work differently than adults and it can be hard for them to move away from something that they’re really into at the moment (playing, screentime, baths etc). Routines help because they know what’s coming next.
Know your kids. Some kids thrive on lots of set expectations, others do better with more wiggle room. Pay attention to how they respond to routine, though understand that anything new might be a little tricky for everyone while they're getting used to it.
Build in small points of connection and breaks. For example, if your routine involves going straight from school to an activity, spend 10 minutes in the car parked, just talking and laughing or snuggling with your kids. Balance structured with unstructured time. Everyone needs some messing around time!
✨ Your Options
This week, your 3 options offer a variety of ready-to-use routines, depending on what’s most helpful for your family.
☀️ Smooth mornings with night-before prep: Mornings are often the hardest part of most families’ days. This approach uses a night-before routine to set up the morning, great for families doing hybrid/in-person schooling.
- 🥪 make school lunches
- 👕set out clothes for the next day
- 🧥set out shoes and outwear (kids can get involved by checking the weather app for the next day)
- 🥐set out non-perishable breakfast things - older kids can start making themselves breakfast with simple things like cereal, muffins, yogurt etc.
- 🎒load up backpacks with forms, PE shoes, masks/sanitizer - whatever will be heading to school the next day🍽 Dinner time. Family time. The start of school often means kids have busy schedules during the day, making dinner an ideal time to connect as a family. But it can also be hectic with work schedules and extracurricular activities. While there may not be as many logistics during COVID, the days can still be frantic so this routine focuses on incorporating chores and family time each day.
- 📝 Clear the dinner table
- 🍽 Set the table
- 🗣Go around the table and share one thing each is grateful for, or a story from the day
- 🧼Clear the table
- 🧸Family hang out time (evening walk, boardgame, play etc)
- 🛁Baths and bedtime🎒Drop-offs for School at Home. Many adults, craving their pre-COVID morning commute, have resorted to getting into the car, driving around the block and slipping back into the house just to login for work at home. Consider something similar if your kids will be doing remote learning this year, to clearly mark “home” time vs. “school” time.
- 🥐Usual, pre-COVID morning routine (breakfast, get ready), minus loading backpacks and lunches
- 🌳Go for a morning walk around the block to replace the usual drop-off. Take the time to explore the neighborhood, asking questions and starting the day with fresh air and movement.
- 💻Return home, wash hands, and get ready for the first activity of the day.
🧰 The Tools
Put your routine(s) in action with these simple steps.
Chose the 1 or 2 tricky times during the day you’re going to add a routine to.
Make it a team activity - choose the activities and the order to complete them.
Add the plan to somewhere central and visible - have the kids make a poster, write it on a whiteboard or add it to your Milo Dash.
Stick to it - routines take time to grab hold. Build flexibility and buffer in until it becomes second nature for everyone.
🤓 Worth reading/listening to:
✨ Milo Tools
Pick the routines that work for your family, save them as “recipes” and load them into your dash each week.