⚽️ How to Have Playdate in a Pandemic
Play is central to our kids' lives. Here's how to approach socializing safely over the coming months.
👋 Intro
Now that kids are seeing classmates again, even virtually, they may be asking for playdates or showing interest in some new friends. It’s a hard time to forge new friendships, but it’s not impossible. We’ve thought through some of the challenges that might arise so that you can find what’s best for your family and get to the fun part faster!
💡 Pandemic Playdates 101
🎈Expand your definition of play: Parallel play (where kids play alongside one another but don’t interact much), shared activities, and good conversations can be rich for child development and connection.
😷Assess your risk-taking comfort level: As exhausting as it can be, we should think through our own comfort level with different kinds of play dates before we start discussing options with our children.
🗣Communication is key: Yup it’s awkward. But, whoever the parents are, even if you’re related to them, you need to have an explicit conversation about what to expect and what you’re comfortable with.
🧴An ounce of preparation: Whether it’s on Zoom or in the backyard, pick activities that make sense for each set-up and make being safe easy.
🖼Think big picture: With kids, you want to motivate them to do a behavior (like wear a mask or keep space) long-term, which might mean that you have to ease up the pressure in one specific instance.
✨ Your Options
1. 🖥 Plan a virtual playdate: If an in-person playdate isn’t right for your family right now, set up a date for kids on Zoom, FaceTime, WhatsApp, Caribu, Marco Polo, or another virtual platform.
If the family is new to you, you can start with a quick text or phone call to introduce yourself and your kid.
Start small and aim for short play dates, especially for younger children who can’t always focus on video interaction for more than 15 or 20 minutes.
Don’t worry about your child always being on camera or getting distracted with other things, just being in the same space together can be enough.
For kids who are young or need your guidance, set up activities that lend themselves to video interaction (see Tools below).
2. 🌳Plan a parallel outing: If you are happy to interact in-person but overwhelmed by the idea of hosting or visiting someone else’s space, plan an outdoor activity that lends itself well to social distancing.
A hike, bike ride, beach hang, or meet-up at a park, can be a nice easy way to get to know another family without a lot of work and with an easy exit if needed.
Before you go, have a clear conversation with the other parent about what social distancing practices you both expect. You can start with “I know this is awkward but…” If they are more or less conservative than you, consider how flexible you are willing to be, and be ready to admit if it just seems like it wont work for the moment.
Even with older kids, let them know what will be expected of them, and practice before you go.
3. 👯♀️ Set up an in-person play date: If you’re ready to play in-person, thoughtful preparation will make the experience much easier and more fun.
Again, have that clear conversation with the parents about what social distancing practices you’ll observe.
Set up a few activities that lend themselves well to keeping space and avoiding touch. There are many, many options (see below).
Set up clear, visible spaces for each child - chairs, chalk-drawn circles, cushions, etc. to give kids a visual reminder for where they are supposed to be.
Talk with your child about how you’ll be interacting with their friends, and practice ahead of time, but don’t spend the whole playdate correcting their behavior. It can help kids to have an easy metaphor for this, like “our family is green zone, strangers are red zone, and your friend will be in the yellow zone, where we wear masks and try to keep space, but if you accidentally are close every once and while, it’s ok.”
Think about building good social distance practices long term, and also not turning your kid off entirely from these behaviors. If your kid, for example, is sick of their mask and refuses to wear it, try again in a few minutes with “are you ready to put your mask back on or do you need another minute?”
🧰 The Tools
Social Distancing Comfort Level Checklist:
Directions: Before you talk to another family, look over this list yourself and think about your own answers. Then use this as a discussion guide with others to make sure everyone is on the same page and feels good about the plan.
-Will adults wear masks? Will children wear masks?
-Will we attempt 6 feet or more of distance?
-Will we discourage our children from touching or allow them to touch?
-Will we take off masks if we are further than 6 ft apart?
-Will we bring separate materials (picnic blankets, etc) or share?
-Will we drive together and how?
-Will we eat together? Will we bring our own food or share?
Good, Easy Activities for Pandemic Playdates (that require little to no planning):
🖥 Virtual
Rock-Paper-Scissors
Board game both have (Guess Who, Battleship, Story Cubes, Pictionary, Yahtzee, Trivial Pursuit, Apples to Apples)
20 Questions
Charades
Lego/Building Challenge
Simple art projects
Caribu Story Reading
Online games
🎒Outings
Hike/ Walk
Bike/Scooter ride
Beach/Park meet up
Soccer
Special activity (apple or pumpkin picking)
🏘 In person
*some require two sets of materials
Hopscotch
Mother-May-I
Simon Says
Freeze Dance
Jump Rope
Red-Light Green-Light
Chalk Pictionary/Chalk Drawing
Building
Play Doh
Painting
Water play with cups and tubs
🧐 Worth Reading:
Emily Oster’s article with a great decision-making framework for how to assess the risks and benefits of different activities.
More ideas for how to discuss COVID practices with other families
If You’re New to Zoom this article teaches you the nitty gritty of setting up a play date
How to deal with teens who aren’t socially distancing